another year...

this year, I really didn't think much about this birthday. I was so focused on getting through school and graduating that anything outside of that didn't matter much.

well i did it. a huge lifetime goal...graduating for a university. yes i'm proud of myself.

i also am happy to have another birthday. every year, as cliche as this sounds, really is a gift. some years are better than others, some easier and others so incredibly draining, as this past one was. but in retrospect, i would not trade this past year for anything.

growth is defined as: the act or process, or a manner of growing; development; gradual increase. (dictionary.com) this life is a process, and through these growing stages, we develop so many different habits and mannerisms and characteristics...and it seems so chaotic sometimes. however, reflecting right now on my life...it is so good.

so i've said all that...just to say...i can't wait for 2008. i'm excited to see what happens. 2007 was a year of challenge for me and i envision 2008 as a year of change. i love change, so hopefully i will love 2008...

I Graduated...

It's somewhat hard to believe that it's pretty much over and I can cross out one of my biggest goals and say...ACCOMPLISHED. I now have a college degree. wow. so now i can say,

James Gilmore
B.A. International Relations (GVSU '07)

that's right.

i have no idea...

this being my last semester of college and graduating in less than a month, i have been inundated with two specific questions, 1) are you excited? and 2) what are your plans for after graduation? honestly, i have grown to despise both questions but here are some answers:

1) no i'm not crazy excited, but i will be tremendously relieved to finish, even if i feel like i am crawling to the finish line. even as i write this, i am stressing out because i should be studying for an exam or writing a paper or something much more productive than blogging about my feelings. i'm still unsure about all of this blogging stuff anyway...anyone have a tissue?

2) i have no idea.

it's not that i have not been planning for anything, it's just that i just don't know. and funny enough, i have begun to find strength in not knowing. it is almost refreshing to realize that it isn't up to me. being the selfish control freak that i am, i feel that i have to do it all and all of it on my own. it is nice to understand how untrue it is and how soon enough the path will be laid out for me.

this semester has been crazy. i've never gone through some of the struggles i have been through in the last few months. i literally have to take moments out of my day to sit and breathe and tell myself, "i can do this, i can do this, i can do this" seriously. i have never had to do that before.

the moral of this story is...

we don't always have to be strong.
we don't always have to be right.
it is okay to feel weak and vulnerable.

no matter the trials we face, and we all face some big battles, it is our mindset that sees us through.

even in feeling so negative lately about school and life in general, it is refreshing to know that in the end:

i will be okay.

I like this...

"What is it about the great religions? Why can't the great religions play well with each other? What are they defending? I'll tell you my interpretation: it signifies a lack of faith to always be threatened and always have to prove your way is the best. It seems again to be antithetical to the teachings of the individual religions."---Brad Pitt

Enough said.

Really...Blogging?

so i am attempting to blog. i wonder if anyone will read this, i guess it doesn't matter, writing can be therapeutic right? i guess that's what THEY say, whoever THEY are...