life.

I wish I could express my thoughts better. I’ve always prided myself on my self-awareness and my own exquisite knowledge of myself. Probably arrogantly, I’ve held on to the belief that I knew all the keys to my own soul and there wasn’t anyone who could tell my story better than me. I still suppose this to be true. I guess. But at the same time, I’m finding that I don’t really know myself at all. At least, as much as I’d like. Life is a process, an evolution and we spend the entire longevity of it working fervently to assume the identity that we were we sure were made to have.

I’m finding that life is full of many adjectives. Life is…silly. Life is…tragic. Life is…fervor. Life is…unexpected. Life is…alarming. Life is…better. Life is…natural. Life is …sad. Life is…happy.

Lately it seems I go through these adjectives as emotions. I feel these emotions it seems, on a daily basis. Watching the news I find myself troubled and saddened and intrigued within one segment alone. Through the course of my day whether at work or outside of it, I find myself riding this rollercoaster. I try so hard to please everyone, including myself. I think pleasing my ego is the most daunting of all, but it is hard to be diplomatic while sticking to your core, your beliefs. It seems that as I get older I can’t seem to do both. Is there truly a contradiction between personal values and diplomacy?

I want so many things from life, it is basically ridiculous. It is so ridiculous; I don’t know where to start. I have basically no real starting line at this point, which thus adds to this rollercoaster. I am someone who isn’t naturally at ease with the unknown and uncontrolled, so this is definitely not an enjoyable state of mind. I want to jump, but I cannot determine how high. I want to run, but I am uncertain as to the speed or the distance. I want to fly, but I don’t know how far.

Thankfully, life is an evolution. Life has many layers. Life has many details and many covers. This stage leads to the next. This book has many chapters and the best ones have sequels. There is usually more to the story once it has been more thoroughly researched. The mystery of life lies in one’s ability to distinguish between the real and the obscene.

The Streets Are On Fire

"Streets On Fire" By Lupe Fiasco
(feat. Matthew Santos)

Death is on the tip of her tongue and dangers at the tip of her fingers
Streets
Are
On
Fire
To-
Night

Death is on the tip of her tongue and dangers at the tip of her fingers
Streets
Are
On
Fire
To-
Night

Disease the virus is spreading in all directions
No safe zone no cure and no protection
No sense of surviving or signs of an infection
No vaccines remedies and no corrections
Quarantines the dreams and cut off our connections
Don't let em in not a friend not a reflection
Everybody's got it and want you to have it next and
Don't accept em if you wanna stay that's an exception
Appeal
The Heal
The ill of this
Sickness some are still in doubt of it's existence
Some call it forgiveness and some call it the vengeance
Some say it's an exit and some say it's an entrance
The poor say the rich have the cure
The rich say the poor are the source
Revolutionaries say it's psychological war
Invented by the press
Just to have something to report
Some say the first case came from a maternity war
Some say em all some say the skies some say the floor
Whores say the nuns, nuns say the whores
And everybody is sure

The scientists said it only infects the mind
The little boy said it only infects the girls
The Preacher said it's gonna kill off the soul
A bum said it's gonna kill the whole wide world

Death is on the tip of her tongue and dangers at the tip of her fingers
Streets
Are
On
Fire
To-
Night

Death is on the tip of her tongue and dangers at the tip of her fingers
Streets
Are
On
Fire
To-
Night

Believe some say the neon signs
Might allow speakers repeating
And everything is fine
A suttle silence
To demolish the troubled conscious
Of a compass with no knowledge
And every freedom denied
Every dream is designed and broadcasted
From the masters to the masses
From the antennas on top of the trine
As far as the receiving planet during a panic is shorted
It reports back everything in your mind
Everything is lying
Everything is dying
Everything is a rule
And everything is a crime
Everything was healed
And everything rewinds
And new weather burn a feathers off everything's line

And she likes it
And she loves it

The savage
The madness
The bad shit
The lavish
The fastness
To clashes the ashes
To ashes everything in to twine
My fend fatale my darling fongoling angel
Once caught her changing her batteries in her halo
Receipt for her wings and everything that she paid for
And the address to the factory where they made those

The scientist says she all inside mind
The little boy said "What happened to all the girls?"
The preacher man says she gonna kill off the souls
The dope boy said it's the whole wide world

Death is on the tip of her tongue and dangers at the tip of her fingers
Streets
Are
On
Fire
To-
Night

Death is on the tip of her tongue and dangers at the tip of her fingers
Streets
Are
On
Fire
To-
Night